Living like a machine, the becoming of a roboji

Day #49 – Living Like a Machine

Tomorrow it will be my 50th day in Berlin, my 37th day at my internship and my 28th day in my current apartment. In 19 days I have to move out again and in no less than 86 days my internship will come to an end. What have I learned so far? And what am I actually doing?

“I am afraid that if I close my eyes I am going to be old and retired by the time I open them again”

First of all, I have learned that I dislike (big surprise) working five days a week from nine to six. It makes me feel like a machine, but more importantly it makes time seem to hit fast-forward. I am afraid that if I close my eyes I am going to be old and retired by the time I open them again. Other than that I do like to go to work every day, in fact I love to go to work. Not that everything I do at Fundamental is fun, for example I am currently restructuring an excel spreadsheet containing the contact information of about 2.000 shops which will take me at least another month, but the atmosphere in the office is great, I have all the creative freedom I need and the lunch breaks with Tenzin are often hilarious.

“I have never eaten so much chocolate in my whole life”

Secondly, I think I have never eaten so much chocolate in my whole life, which is not just because I like chocolate but also, I speculate, for the reason that I’m compensating for an incomplete part of my life right now, namely: the lack of family and friends. At times I feel a slight homesickness, nothing major, but just enough to be aware of it. I even noticed that hearing people speak Dutch or reading Dutch news makes me feel better, which is ironic because when I arrived back in the Netherlands last year, after traveling for five months in Asia, I loathed the Dutch culture; in my eyes it was overly-organised, leaving little room for creativity, and I couldn’t stand all the taken for granted wealth and how it made us such an individualistic culture, while I learned in Indonesia about the upside of poverty as the creator of strong communities and interpersonal bonds. The only thing, besides chocolate, which can solve this issue for me right now, I think, ist eine schöne Deutsche mädchen, but that’s another story.

Besides my internship I am working on two art projects, which are both still in an early conceptual fase, so I cannot really tell anything about them yet. Although pretty soon I will write a philosophical muse about one of them.



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